To: Andi O’Conor
Monday, September 6th, 2010
Subject: are you home?
3:05 PM, Kathy wrote:
Hi Andi,
Just heard about the fire on 4-mile canyon and wondering if you are home, or still out of town. Hope everything is OK with you and your house.
Kathy
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Subject: Re: are you home?
3:36 PM
Hi There,
Nope, I’m in Washington. Wow, a fire on Four-Mile? That’s scary. Sugarloaf is one canyon over, but that’s really close.
At least I have the dog, the computer, and my birth certificate with me! All the important stuff.
Thanks for thinking of me. I leave tomorrow and get home the 15th. Will put some white light around the house…
If you get any updates, I’d really appreciate hearing about it. Thanks!
Take good care,
A
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at 6:06 PM, Andrea Meyer wrote:
Hi Andi,
Wanted to let you know of a fire that may be headed toward your house. They are evacuating various areas. The continuous updates are at: http://boulderoem.com/component/content/article/5
I know you’re not home so you’re safe, but wanted to let you know just in case.
Best wishes,
Andrea
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10:15 PM MDT
Hi Andrea,
The house at the top of my driveway was destroyed, so things look grim. Won’t know for another day, but please keep me in your thoughts. Will be a miracle if I still have a house.
A
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10:38 PM MDT
Hi Friends,
I’ve heard from neighbors that the house at the top of my driveway on Sugarloaf is gone, so I’m not sure what the chances are that mine is still there. Nellie the Dog and I are safe in Washington State; we head for home (I hope it’s still there) tomorrow morning.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I love my house and hope it survives by some miracle, though it is apparently in the belly of the beast.
Stay safe and send good thoughts,
Andi
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Tuesday, September 7, 2010
8:39 AM MDT
Kathy,
This is nerve wracking; like waiting to hear if a loved one is dead or alive…still no word but it looks bad…
A
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9:25:07 PM MDT
Hi Guys,
I just rolled into Coeur D’Alene, Idaho and am frankly done in. Been on the phone all day while I drove, and the news is sounding not very good from our local firefighters.
We are supposed to hear tonight about the addresses of destroyed structures, so fingers crossed. I am devastated that my entire mountainside is ravaged, and hope there is something left of the house. But I’m also trying to be mentally prepared for the worst.
I have a shorter drive into Bozeman tomorrow, and will be back in the loop then. Frankly, the distraction from all this will be a welcome change. Right now I have a smashing headache and just feel like crying. A bath and a long sleep cuddled up with my Nellie dog will do me a world of good.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. This waiting is really difficult. I wish we could just get some clear news, but I understand they’re still fighting the fire. So, right now we wait.
Many thanks for the hugs and for your overall wonderfulness!
Andi
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9:36:24 PM MDT
My house is gone; burned down to the foundation. Could you let everyone know? I can’t bear it.
Don’t even know what to feel…
Thanks,
A
I am so touched by your honesty and bravery. And I imagine you might say: How can I not be? As you said in one post, you can’t let the truth stay inside. The truth is also that the more you say ‘it’…the reality of what you and others are feeling…you show us all how uncomfortable BUT necessary it is to be exactly where we are with our grief, anger, sadness, joy, etc. I want to wrap my arms around you and Nellie and really, really make it all better! Some of that is genuine caring and a piece of that is my own need to get away from my squishy, tender, uncontrollable feelings of grief and loss. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this with us. And thanks to Heather for sharing the link. I’m surrounding you with Light and Hope and a big dose of may you see your way clear through to each next step!
Namaste!
Concetta
Thank you Concetta, so glad you like the writing and the blog. I love what you said about giving comfort both to others and yourself. I struggle to stay in touch with what others are feeling through this experience as well – that they have their own grief and sadness and anger FOR me, and feel frustrated at times as well.
For me it is important to also keep giving at this time – to pass along the love and generosity that is handed to me so lovingly each day.
Thanks again for your words, Andi
I can’t even begin to imagine how hard and stressful this must be. I know my house was hit by lightening once, and that was a pain to replace and fix everything, but to completely lose everything. I am very impressed by your bravery. I hope everything works out for you.
Hi Bryan,
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Your words mean a lot, and are comforting.
Take Good Care,
Andi
I cant Imagine how hard it was to lose everything because I’ve never been faced with the situation but my heart goes out to you. You are a soilder to be able to start over from stratch. The good things are you have your dog, and like you said your birth certificate, the important things, but most importantly, your life and that is a blessing from God. Hope all is well and I keep you in my prayers.
Hi La Toya,
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I’m always amazed at the kindness of strangers – people like you who don’t know me but who take the time to write and to wish me well.
I’m sending you blessings, and thanks so much for reading,
Andi
Andi, How pleasant it was to meet you and Nellie, the kissing pup, today while walking in the alley of where you’re living in Boulder. Yes, the gardenia further down the dirt road smelled lovely; that pleasant stop and your conversation about the Four Mile Canyon Fire remained with me on my walk home. The trauma of all those who lost their homes and life treasures is tragic and longlasting. I admire your work in making this life-changing event available to all of us in the Boulder community through your poetry and essays.
I have just started a blog about my experiences after having a house fire in May: Rebuilding house and life after a fire. I live in Austin, and it was caused by a gas leak when my 20-year old son was home alone. I, too, am single and while I agree that no one with friends is truly alone, it is overwhelming to dealwith the aftermath of a fire as the only head of household. I look forward to exploring your blog.
We lost our home February 1, 2010 and are still struggling emotionally and financially. I wept when I read your July 5th post because I can totally relate. I have a 12 and 14 year old and a similar experience happened to us while driving home one evening. The boys were shouting, “Mom, hurry! What if its our house?” Total and complete paniac were in their vocies and I couldn’t help but feel the same way. I am a teacher too and had an enormous amount of help from people at my school and really don’t know what we would have done without it. Unfortunately the insurance has been another story, and, a year and a half later, we are still dealing with issues. I just wanted to say thank you and to let you know that your blog helped me. It is hard to explain to people all the damage a fire causes to you in so many other ways than the loss of the things in your home. I have had some days that I still feel completely overwhelmed with sadness, fear and anger. Unfortunately I have had some friends and even family members not understand and just decide to shut me out. It is and eye opener, an experience like this. It lets you see who truly cares and is there for you. That is a gift most people don’t get to see. All the best to you and keep it coming. It is a comfort to those of us that have been there. Take care.
This brings tears to my eyes…similar situation, lost house and contents to fire Feb. 18th, 2010. Was on the road in rush hour traffic when I heard the news. By the time I reached home the house was gone, along with six family pets. I so understand your last line “don’t even know what to feel”. Weeks followed with friends, family and strangers asking how they could help. I never could give them an answer. I never know what to say. One day some friends drove up the driveway and the husband emerged from the car with a huge pot of blooming pansies. I sobbed. His wife sobbed. She wouldn’t leave until I agreed to let her get some linens and towels for us. I sometimes felt as if I was the one trying to comfort them, so great was their grief and compassion for us. I soon learned to say, “We’re okay. Getting through it day by day.”